trying to get help, hah!

the latest affront is i clicked on one of those ads about refinancing and debt relief and all that. there were: as seen on CBS, better business bureau, official privacy security stuff, all over the place. i went thru their stupid process, putting in my financial info. i was told i'd be contacted, which i hate, but i'm sure they needed to know income, and the site hadn't asked for that.

when an unknown number came thru, i made myself answer and listen to some idiot living in one of the rectangle states, tell me none of my info came thru to him, especially the part about uws co-op. they don't even know what they are. and they are: quicken loans, the biggest lender, according to said idiot. yeah, i'm impressed.

here's my deal: (financial disclosures below, read at your own risk)

• i own an upper west side co-op that i bought in 1993 for $150,000. it's now worth about $650,000. location, location, location, and it's quiet, overlooks a garden and has a wood-burning fireplace (wbfp)
• i paid off about $100k in the salad days as well as completely remodeled the kitchen (think tuscan farmhouse, cherry cabinets, granite counter top) and bath (white tile, pedestal sink, currently painted soothing blue)
• stopped getting work a few years back. started figure modeling (at $15-20/hr i feel i'm doing charity for education) and learning to oil paint.
  
• started looking for work as savings dried up. October 2008 booom
• got a $100k home equity loan to pay taxes and live on while i looked for paying work. sigh
• watched my $250k retirement savings shrink 40%. (it's close to $200 now, unless i have to use it to pay off debt)
• racked up about $50k in credit card debt (rates from 7-11%) as savings dwindled, market tanked, afraid to spend cash
• still paying all bills on time and a bit more than the minimum.

here's some of the scary part:

• last month i paid $1,700 to credit card minimums plus $50-75
• AND i paid $1,000 to my mortgage and home eq loan (min + $50)
• $2,700 for all my debt per month
  
• If i were to get a $200,000 loan at 4.75% paying it off in 20 years, my payments would be under $1,300 a month.
• i'd love to save $1,400 a month to pay off my debt!! who wouldn't?
• problem is, 2 of the 3 specially chosen vendors don't handle co-ops in NYC. and i had to get a phone call to figure this out. what a waste of time for both of us.
  
• my credit union, that i've belonged to since i worked for one year at mcgraw-hill in 1993, told me they won't even take my mortgage application because i don't have tax forms that show i make lots of money
• now i'm going to see if citibank will talk to me as a disadvantaged home-owner. i have the tax forms that show i don't make a lot of money. that's how i'm getting affordable health insurance and my rxs paid for.
  

i'm in a somewhat better mood because i made enough money to pay my bills this month. and wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if i magically had to pay $1,400 less? that's all i'm asking for.

F*&^%$#ING banks and their fees

watch out for this one. my citicard due date is usually the 5th of the month. last month, i logged in very late on the 2nd and noticed that my bill was due that day. i paid the bill & sent a note to customer service asking why my due date had changed. they sent back some lame excuse about the number of days in the month. months either have 30 or 31 days. i guess i set up my account in feb. they said i could change my bill date. so i tried. of course, it had to be more than 5 days different than what it was. i just wanted it to be on the 5th, like it's supposed. but i had to settle for the 10th. whatever.

today, i happened to be looking at my account and noticed they charged me a $39 late fee on the 17th. UGH. i got them to take the fee off, but it took 5 minutes of my time. this seems very fishy: changing my due date, then waiting to charge the late fee--so maybe i wouldn't notice.

bastards

banks can't make money off credit cards

so they're upping rates and fees and all kinds of dastardly things. big surprise.

ya know, if banks' websites didn't suck so much, they might be able to get consumers honestly. i just went through changing the due date on my citi card. my home page might be light and airy, but there's no direct link to my inbox, which i have to use to communicate with them. and pretty much everything i have to do is below the fold. huh? (i'm on a macbook pro with 1440 x 900 res, so that is not the problem)

grrrr this should be so much easier, and cheaper.

split personality

i'm feeling a bit split lately. i've tried to get a few 0% or low interest credit cards to move some of my higher rate (10%) card debt over. unfortunately, i've been turned down twice now, even though i over-exaggerated my potential income. (for those who don't know, i've been trying to get work since october of last year, with little success. let's say my timing's a little off. i tried to go back to work just as things started to get really ugly.)

my biggest issue has been health insurance. NYC has a great program Healthy NY that i finally lack enough income to qualify for. i'm paying $268/mos instead of the $640/mos i'd been paying as a sole proprietor. the weird thing is the Rx pricing is killing me (fucking pharmaceutical company money-grubbing bastards). Healthy NY's Rx program does not cover ANY of the drugs i take.

by far the most expensive is cymbalta, which i take for depression. with my old crappy insurance, i paid $1.78/pill ($1280 annually). shopping pharmacies, i'm paying $4.42/pill ($3180 annually), that's almost 60% more. now i'm looking at lilly's patient assistance program, where i have to show my low income. and as soon as i start making some real money, i'm no longer eligible. it also requires a doctor to administer--the pills are delivered to her. luckily, my doctors have all been great, so i'm not anticipating any problems.

when i looked at the lilly site, i noticed that cymbalta is also used to treat fibromyalgia, a very serious disease. i can't help but think that my psychiatrist who put me on the drug picked whatever his pharm reps pushed the hardest, with no regard for how expensive it is. (this is the same guy who was shocked i paid my own insurance premiums. hell-looooooo! most folks pay a portion of their health ins premiums. doctors do have to understand the financial implications of their decisions. their patients certainly have to.) thing is, this drug has worked better than anything else i have taken over the past 20 years. in fact, there are times i should probably take more, but at $4.42 a pill, i simply can't afford to.

i've managed to go to over the counter and generic solutions for my allergy drugs, and my allergy shots are covered, so that part has been a relief. but i did have to give up my preferred drugs. and i'll be relying on sample eye drops and nose spray next spring. those things are simply cost-prohibitive.

and last, my birth-control pills. i've been on the pill for 25 years now for a very irregular cycle and related depression. i take a pill now where i only get my period quarterly. it's been much better in terms of killing--i have much less desire to kill others and myself. so i don't want to switch. of course, not covered. i just checked and the fucking bastards actually cover viagra on my plan, with prior approval and a limit. hell, that i could work with. UGH!

i just found out something interesting: i don't have to have a period! how cool is that? i just spoke to the doc's office and they said i can ignore the week off when i get my period and start taking the pills. i will keep you posted on how this impacts my mental health.

sorry for all the detail, but this is what i have to deal with, and honestly, if i had kids and a job, i'd never have time. sigh.

so what makes more sense? milking my low-income status for what i can get? fight with all the other folks who've been laid off for crappy consulting gigs?

wouldn't believe it if i didn't see it myself

Was just checking on some old credit cards to see rates and was blown away by this:

As communicated in our recent letter to customers, we deeply regret that all Advanta Business Credit Card accounts were closed effective May 30, 2009.

explanation: Substantially all Advanta accounts are funded by an independent trust which owns the account balances and provides funding for new transactions. The trust has stopped funding activity. The trust also restricts our flexibility to fund account activity. As a result, all Advanta Business Card accounts were closed effective May 30.

translation: we f*%#ed up, you pay.

glad i wasn't actually using this card.

fingers crossed

i applied for a different credit card, so i'm keeping my fingers crossed so that i can transfer balances from my higher rate credit cards. The highest is like 10.25%, but i'd much rather be paying principle than interest. gee, think the banks will let me do this?

nahhhh. they're too busy paying back their bailouts with my taxpayer money so they can give themselves bonuses. hey, can i get a bonus? how 'bout a simple break? i still can't quite believe that 20 years of excellent credit, paying bills on time means nothing.

got a rental for next weekend, 5 days for the same i used to get for 3. that's the economy. better than nothing, but certainly doesn't make a dent in the bills.

there's always high-priced call girl. wait, i'm 45 with a belly and cellulite thighs. maybe there's a market for that.

banks won't bail me out--big surprise

i applied for a credit card today to transfer balances and get a lower rate. i was turned down because i don't have enough income vs my debt. i may have mentioned before, i have excellent credit, i pay my bills on time and have for 20+ years. i've been putting a lot on credit cards for a while now because i saw how long it was taking me to get work and i didn't want to find myself without cash. i had been debt free for years, except my mortgage. honestly, i can't remember ever being turned down for a credit card. i don't like it one bit.

i'm trying to figure out a way to pay less interest and the banks aren't letting me. ok, so when the stupid banks try to pay back MY TAXPAYER bailout, i think we should charge them exorbitant late fees, jack up their rates and deny them any more credit. bastards!!

i'm a bit of a control freak and this makes me feel like i just stole food from an orphanage. geez. i just can't find work as readily as i once did. never realized it was a crime.