trying to get help, hah!

the latest affront is i clicked on one of those ads about refinancing and debt relief and all that. there were: as seen on CBS, better business bureau, official privacy security stuff, all over the place. i went thru their stupid process, putting in my financial info. i was told i'd be contacted, which i hate, but i'm sure they needed to know income, and the site hadn't asked for that.

when an unknown number came thru, i made myself answer and listen to some idiot living in one of the rectangle states, tell me none of my info came thru to him, especially the part about uws co-op. they don't even know what they are. and they are: quicken loans, the biggest lender, according to said idiot. yeah, i'm impressed.

here's my deal: (financial disclosures below, read at your own risk)

• i own an upper west side co-op that i bought in 1993 for $150,000. it's now worth about $650,000. location, location, location, and it's quiet, overlooks a garden and has a wood-burning fireplace (wbfp)
• i paid off about $100k in the salad days as well as completely remodeled the kitchen (think tuscan farmhouse, cherry cabinets, granite counter top) and bath (white tile, pedestal sink, currently painted soothing blue)
• stopped getting work a few years back. started figure modeling (at $15-20/hr i feel i'm doing charity for education) and learning to oil paint.
  
• started looking for work as savings dried up. October 2008 booom
• got a $100k home equity loan to pay taxes and live on while i looked for paying work. sigh
• watched my $250k retirement savings shrink 40%. (it's close to $200 now, unless i have to use it to pay off debt)
• racked up about $50k in credit card debt (rates from 7-11%) as savings dwindled, market tanked, afraid to spend cash
• still paying all bills on time and a bit more than the minimum.

here's some of the scary part:

• last month i paid $1,700 to credit card minimums plus $50-75
• AND i paid $1,000 to my mortgage and home eq loan (min + $50)
• $2,700 for all my debt per month
  
• If i were to get a $200,000 loan at 4.75% paying it off in 20 years, my payments would be under $1,300 a month.
• i'd love to save $1,400 a month to pay off my debt!! who wouldn't?
• problem is, 2 of the 3 specially chosen vendors don't handle co-ops in NYC. and i had to get a phone call to figure this out. what a waste of time for both of us.
  
• my credit union, that i've belonged to since i worked for one year at mcgraw-hill in 1993, told me they won't even take my mortgage application because i don't have tax forms that show i make lots of money
• now i'm going to see if citibank will talk to me as a disadvantaged home-owner. i have the tax forms that show i don't make a lot of money. that's how i'm getting affordable health insurance and my rxs paid for.
  

i'm in a somewhat better mood because i made enough money to pay my bills this month. and wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if i magically had to pay $1,400 less? that's all i'm asking for.

survived tax time

i had a few hopes going into taxes that were all realized. keep in mind, these hopes may seem a bit odd. it's the part of my split personality where i have to keep my income down, not up.

i wanted to come out of taxes not owing anything--pretty easy since i'm not making much money. but very important so that i can keep my cheap health ins ($300/mos vs $650/mos) and get my anti-depressants from the manufacturer. i have to make less than $2,200/mos. (don't even think about that folks who make this little also have to pay $300/mos--yes, that health ins bill was necessary)

of course, i had to pay to get my taxes done. i have some other bills to pay, savings is almost depleted and i don't have any work on the horizon. whew! that was hard to write, but it's true. i've never gone this long without a good, long, high-paying gig to pay down debt. that's how i paid off $100k of my mortgage.

only to borrow it back. UGH.

i don't like having things this out of control.

so, back to looking for work, i guess.

success! finally

it only took 4 months, $830 out of pocket waiting out delays, and almost my sanity.

lilly's program finally actually sent my doctor my drugs!!

(of course, the biggest problem with the program is that everything goes through the doctor, who has many patients to deal with, instead of me, the patient, who has a vested interest. if all communication went through me directly instead of being sent back to the doctor, i could have saved buying meds each month of delay. the office couldn't understand what insurance would send drugs to their office.)

this is $1,200 worth of anti-depressants--4 months worth. i'm both happy and worried about what happens next.

homicide is justified

or at least it should be when the lilly free meds program screws me over for the third time! i have purchased 3 months worth of cymbalta while waiting for my free meds. they have lost my application, rejected a faxed application & mailed it back to the doctor. i only find out about these things when i call. and they tell you not to call for the few weeks they need to process.

two weeks ago, when i purchased yet another supply, i found out the price went up from $265 to $300.

add insult to injury, my "poor people" health insurance just went from $269 to $306

that's about a 12% increase

i have to make less than $2,257 a month, same for being eligible for the lilly program.
hmm $300 + $306 just for health ins & one rx. that's 27% of the income cap. how are people supposed to live?

i'm filling out the paperwork for the 4th time. trying not to get too angry. now i'm just bound and determined to get my damn free meds before i have to buy more. that money could and should be used to pay off credit cards. (i've spent $265 + 265 + 300 = $830 dealing with their stupid delays--incompetence or a strategy?)

split personality

i'm feeling a bit split lately. i've tried to get a few 0% or low interest credit cards to move some of my higher rate (10%) card debt over. unfortunately, i've been turned down twice now, even though i over-exaggerated my potential income. (for those who don't know, i've been trying to get work since october of last year, with little success. let's say my timing's a little off. i tried to go back to work just as things started to get really ugly.)

my biggest issue has been health insurance. NYC has a great program Healthy NY that i finally lack enough income to qualify for. i'm paying $268/mos instead of the $640/mos i'd been paying as a sole proprietor. the weird thing is the Rx pricing is killing me (fucking pharmaceutical company money-grubbing bastards). Healthy NY's Rx program does not cover ANY of the drugs i take.

by far the most expensive is cymbalta, which i take for depression. with my old crappy insurance, i paid $1.78/pill ($1280 annually). shopping pharmacies, i'm paying $4.42/pill ($3180 annually), that's almost 60% more. now i'm looking at lilly's patient assistance program, where i have to show my low income. and as soon as i start making some real money, i'm no longer eligible. it also requires a doctor to administer--the pills are delivered to her. luckily, my doctors have all been great, so i'm not anticipating any problems.

when i looked at the lilly site, i noticed that cymbalta is also used to treat fibromyalgia, a very serious disease. i can't help but think that my psychiatrist who put me on the drug picked whatever his pharm reps pushed the hardest, with no regard for how expensive it is. (this is the same guy who was shocked i paid my own insurance premiums. hell-looooooo! most folks pay a portion of their health ins premiums. doctors do have to understand the financial implications of their decisions. their patients certainly have to.) thing is, this drug has worked better than anything else i have taken over the past 20 years. in fact, there are times i should probably take more, but at $4.42 a pill, i simply can't afford to.

i've managed to go to over the counter and generic solutions for my allergy drugs, and my allergy shots are covered, so that part has been a relief. but i did have to give up my preferred drugs. and i'll be relying on sample eye drops and nose spray next spring. those things are simply cost-prohibitive.

and last, my birth-control pills. i've been on the pill for 25 years now for a very irregular cycle and related depression. i take a pill now where i only get my period quarterly. it's been much better in terms of killing--i have much less desire to kill others and myself. so i don't want to switch. of course, not covered. i just checked and the fucking bastards actually cover viagra on my plan, with prior approval and a limit. hell, that i could work with. UGH!

i just found out something interesting: i don't have to have a period! how cool is that? i just spoke to the doc's office and they said i can ignore the week off when i get my period and start taking the pills. i will keep you posted on how this impacts my mental health.

sorry for all the detail, but this is what i have to deal with, and honestly, if i had kids and a job, i'd never have time. sigh.

so what makes more sense? milking my low-income status for what i can get? fight with all the other folks who've been laid off for crappy consulting gigs?

i still have to pay my bills on time, but my clients don't

i noticed this when i was in the corp world and i do NOT like being on the other end one bit. when corps get afraid to spend money, they just don't pay invoices. i'm waiting for time inc to stop sending back invoices for stupid reasons and actually pay me for ONE DAY i worked March 2. i came in for an interview and ended up going over contracts for the day. they cancelled the project entirely, probably, i believe, because my keen eye showed them they simply didn't have enough control for a successful project.

that's me. smart enough to not get work!

health insurance cos do the same thing. first they ask for one form, then no, that's not the form, it's this other form. meanwhile, days, weeks, months go by.

i know if i didn't pay the electric bill, it would be shut off. and if i don't pay my health insurance, i'm not covered. what recourse do we have?

sending in my new medical insurance payment

i'm actually happy to be sending in my new health insurance payment. it's much less than the old one, so i really like that. it's also empire blue cross which has got to be better than GHI, we'll see. of course, now i'm on the open market buying prescriptions. unfortunately, the Rx plan offered does not include even one of the drugs i take regularly. you'd think i was taking experimental cancer drugs for what these things cost. all i actually take are anti-depressants, allergy meds and birth control pills. wish me luck!

medco/GHI rant

This is what I sent to Medco recently in response to their survey.

After receiving info today from GHI, yet again, telling me never to stop taking my anti-depressants without first talking to my doctor, reminding me that it may take 6 months to see results, I am so angry that the combination of GHI/Medco has made it virtually impossible to get my anti-depressants on time, regardless of when I put the order in.

I order my anti-depressants quarterly for a 3-month supply as required. The last two times, I have had significant problems.

Here’s what happened with my anti-depressant, Cymbalta:

On Feb 3, 2009, I received a note from Medco dated 1-26-09 saying that I did not have the authorizations I needed. I’d already had the order in for two weeks and was shocked. I spoke to Larry at GHI who said all the authorizations were fine and Medco should be shipping any day.

On Friday Feb 6, 2009, I checked online and saw that my Cymbalta order was no longer there. I spoke with Liza, a customer service rep from Medco who is obviously paid to say no. She said orders don’t disappear, mine did. I believe it timed out in the system. She was absolutely no help and I ended up screaming at her because I know how important it is that I don’t miss my meds. I finally insisted on speaking with a supervisor and spoke with Akisha who was understanding, did not assume I was lying, checked out everything and set it up so that my Rx was delivered the following Tues at no cost to me. That’s all I wanted.

On May 11, 2009, I had to go through the same thing again. I spoke to Akisha at GHI who said she would call Medco with the authorization and get back to me. I never heard back, so I called again and spoke to Raymond who told me that he would be the person to put through an expedited order and had nothing for me. He not only put through my order, but also got me a 7-day supply from my local pharmacy so I wouldn’t miss even one dose. He was fantastic!

When GHI moved to Medco:

My birth control pills did not get transferred, and I didn’t find out about it until it was almost too late. I’m not supposed to miss doses of birth control pills.

I received only a 30-day supply for Allegra-D, which Express Scripts says is a “maintenance drug” and can be dispensed in 90-day increments. I had to call to find out Medco does not classify it as a maintenance drug, so I have to order and pay $54.28/month.

I pay GHI $650/month for the privilege of paying $341.75 out-of-pocket for Cymbalta quarterly.

As a technology manager, I know that the problem is Medco and GHI’s systems don’t properly communicate. If I were the boss, I’d have to say, “then find a provider our system does speak with.” I can’t even get a price until my order arrives.

Honestly, I can’t wait to dump both GHI and Medco. Dealing with healthcare should not make me ill. Please do something to improve communications between GHI and Medco so others like me don’t have to suffer.

health insurance round 2

i finally got my paperwork in for healthy ny. it's health insurance for individuals, sole proprietors (like me) and families under a certain income level. since i haven't been earning much and have the tax records to prove it, it was time to stop paying $650/mos for the privilege of paying for everything.

i met their fax deadline, so i should be covered june 1. yes, i am currently not covered. i just couldn't justify the premium this month. i wonder how many others have said that? and how many will have to.

i've chosen their plan without rx coverage because i called to check and they do not cover EVEN ONE of the medications i take regularly.

i'll be paying $270/mos. i found out i can buy prescriptions without any insurance for what i was paying iwth the evil ghi/medco. hopefully i won't be ranting about my new health plan soon. it's a blue cross hmo. fingers crossed. having this one thing done is a big weight off my mind.

next: credit cards and stupid broken headphones.

at least it's not bad news

in my seemingly never-ending quest to find affordable health insurance, i went to my foot doctor before i stop my insurance. good news is my feet look good. i have bursitis in my toe joints. she prescribed orthotics two years ago which i've been wearing diligently. she sent them back to be refurbished, which is definitely cheaper than a new pair. once i get them back in about two weeks, i can start running again. yay!!

now i just have to keep hoping for an eye doctor appt before fri, so i don't have to pay $300 or more out of pocket. wish me luck.

healthcare blues

i'm trying to spend less on healthcare, but it's not easy.

i'm also trying not to worry about money so much. it's hard since i feel like money is being spent every second and i'm not making any money.

sending out resumes and replying to postings on craigslist, linked in and whatever else comes my way.

when i see homeless people on the street, i feel horrible, and frightened that might be me if i can't get any work. i realized recently that i can dip into my retirement savings to keep my apartment. it makes me feel both better and worse.

one day at a time.

healthcare for the rich; who gets jobs?

As I mentioned, I pay a ton of money for crappy health insurance and the privilege of paying for just about everything else. I'm trying to see my doctors while I'm still paying for the insurance, especially the expensive ones. This is a big fat pain in the butt.

I need to see an eye doctor because I'm at that age where my arms just aren't long enough to hold things out to read. I've been near-sighted forever, so it's very strange for me. My glasses are always expensive ($700 last time), so bi-focals will be out of the question. I hope a new contact Rx will solve my problem.

Instead of continuing to wear my bad shoes and get expensive surgery on my feet, I worked with the doctor, paid $500 for orthotics, got rid of all my bad shoes, stopped running and worked with my trainer. When I last saw my doctor, she was surprised at how good my feet looked. She was worried I would need surgery. I have bursitis in my toes. Sounds silly, but it's very painful.

Now I need to see the doctor again and I know my orthotics are loosing their cushion, so I need new ones for another $500. If I could, I would order two pairs, one for the gym and running and another for walking. I really can't afford one pair.

I feel like I need to get what I can now because if things continue, I won't have credit cards to use anymore.

I've been sending resumes out like crazy with very little response. Many of the recruiters have made it clear they don't have any jobs. That's certainly a first.

Feels like I'm being squeezed from both ends.

Part of me wants to believe that as more and more of us get in these situations, we will realize it's going to take all of us to get out. And we have to work together. None of this "why should I help save her because she made stupid money decisions?" We all did and didn't expect work to dry up, or our retirements accounts to dissolve.