trying to get help, hah!

the latest affront is i clicked on one of those ads about refinancing and debt relief and all that. there were: as seen on CBS, better business bureau, official privacy security stuff, all over the place. i went thru their stupid process, putting in my financial info. i was told i'd be contacted, which i hate, but i'm sure they needed to know income, and the site hadn't asked for that.

when an unknown number came thru, i made myself answer and listen to some idiot living in one of the rectangle states, tell me none of my info came thru to him, especially the part about uws co-op. they don't even know what they are. and they are: quicken loans, the biggest lender, according to said idiot. yeah, i'm impressed.

here's my deal: (financial disclosures below, read at your own risk)

• i own an upper west side co-op that i bought in 1993 for $150,000. it's now worth about $650,000. location, location, location, and it's quiet, overlooks a garden and has a wood-burning fireplace (wbfp)
• i paid off about $100k in the salad days as well as completely remodeled the kitchen (think tuscan farmhouse, cherry cabinets, granite counter top) and bath (white tile, pedestal sink, currently painted soothing blue)
• stopped getting work a few years back. started figure modeling (at $15-20/hr i feel i'm doing charity for education) and learning to oil paint.
  
• started looking for work as savings dried up. October 2008 booom
• got a $100k home equity loan to pay taxes and live on while i looked for paying work. sigh
• watched my $250k retirement savings shrink 40%. (it's close to $200 now, unless i have to use it to pay off debt)
• racked up about $50k in credit card debt (rates from 7-11%) as savings dwindled, market tanked, afraid to spend cash
• still paying all bills on time and a bit more than the minimum.

here's some of the scary part:

• last month i paid $1,700 to credit card minimums plus $50-75
• AND i paid $1,000 to my mortgage and home eq loan (min + $50)
• $2,700 for all my debt per month
  
• If i were to get a $200,000 loan at 4.75% paying it off in 20 years, my payments would be under $1,300 a month.
• i'd love to save $1,400 a month to pay off my debt!! who wouldn't?
• problem is, 2 of the 3 specially chosen vendors don't handle co-ops in NYC. and i had to get a phone call to figure this out. what a waste of time for both of us.
  
• my credit union, that i've belonged to since i worked for one year at mcgraw-hill in 1993, told me they won't even take my mortgage application because i don't have tax forms that show i make lots of money
• now i'm going to see if citibank will talk to me as a disadvantaged home-owner. i have the tax forms that show i don't make a lot of money. that's how i'm getting affordable health insurance and my rxs paid for.
  

i'm in a somewhat better mood because i made enough money to pay my bills this month. and wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if i magically had to pay $1,400 less? that's all i'm asking for.

mortgage adjust & auto-payment rant

just got a note from my bank that my mortgage is adjusting DOWN. Yay. My payment is going down about $50/month.

thing is, this is wells fargo and the way they set up their automatic payments is they automatically take the minimum. they've been doing the same with a credit card balance of mine. with my mortgage and home equity loans and my credit cards, I ALWAYS pay more than the minimum. that's how my original mortgage is down to $55,000. for the credit card, i was happy it was getting paid on time, but after a year, it looks like I pretty much just paid interest for a year.

UGH! i know better than this, but i'm really not looking forward to the bank calls.

encouragement appreciated.

taxes done. back to how to pay the mortgage

I went to do my taxes the other day and I don't owe anything!! yay!! If I did, I honestly didn't know how I would pay for it. (my tax guy is fantastic! Mark Avrutine 212-826-5050, tell him Lisa sent you)

Instead of it putting me in a better mood, it just reminded me how much I spent last year when I thought I would make money again.

I'm starting to panic a little. I guess it's about time. Here's how I got here, in a nutshell:

• I stopped looking for consulting work after a particularly bad stint at an ad agency where no one but me wanted the project to succeed. It also brought up a bunch of old issues I'd never resolved dealing with difficult people by doing everything they want, regardless if it's the right thing to do.
  
• Got a $100K home equity loan based on my retirement accounts on a UWS co-op valued at $550K with an outstanding mortgage of $60K. Basically, I'd paid off about $100K of my mortgage and I borrowed it back.
• I invested the home equity money and used it to pay my mortgage/expenses while I learned to be a figure model and bartered for painting lessons. Problem is, figure modeling only pays $15-20/hr. Bartering for painting works because we're both underpaid. (Karen Kaapke is my instructor. She's a genius with flesh tones.)
  
• I love modeling and it turns out I'm pretty good at it, thanks to the artists who have taught me: Jonathan Soard and Ariel Higgins in particular, along with Karen. My trainer Suzanne (917-691-2115, tell her I sent you) has been working with me for five years now and she gets credit for my stability, balance and tone.
  
• I'm basically healthy. I suffer from allergies and depression, both which require treatment. For the past few years, I have been paying $650/month for health insurance which gives me the privilege of paying for therapy sessions after 20 a year, half or more for prescriptions thru Medco (I'll get to my medco rant later, I promise), orthotics and pretty much anything else the insurance doesn't feel like paying for. Obviously, I can't afford these premiums any longer and it's looking like I'll end up spending less with a high deductible catastrophic plan and paying out of pocket for the rest.
  
• Visiting my psychiatrist to get a new Rx, I found out that he will charge me $100/15 min session that I'm required to have 4 times/yr, even though I only saw him once a year when I had insurance. Ugh! He even acted surprised when I said I pay my own insurance. Hello!! I live in the US where healthcare is a privilege, not a right.
  

I want everyone to know that not making money and healthcare are issues for all of us. I'm competing with every person who has been laid off for project work. Needless to say, the phone isn't ringing. I've also tried to start a home organizing business, but in this economy, no one wants to spend.

Usually, I'm a very optimistic in the face of opposition. But I have to admit, I'm concerned. I sold some land in Costa Rica before things fell completely apart. I never got around to investing the money, so at least I didn't loose any of it. That's what I've been living on and it's almost gone. I've gotten a bunch of modeling gigs lately, but it's almost embarassing how little that will help. I'm probably better off looking for organizing and other higher paying work instead.

I will continue to let you all know how ugly it gets and the issues I run into. I will also send positive energy to you because I believe that will help. Feel free to send it back. thanks for listening.