trying not to freak out

my savings are almost gone.

i've been in nyc for 20 years, and this is by far the hardest it has ever been to find work. some of that may be that i'm older and more expensive. but i really think it has more to do with companies doing what they always do when money is tight: they panic and stop spending.

for years now, exemplary companies have always said it's best to invest in a downturn--costs are lower, competitors can't, etc. so why isn't anyone listening?

i was trained as a journalist, so part of me is simply fascinated with what's going on. that doesn't help paying the bills, especially in such an expensive city. i guess i feel like i at least have resources and can possibly be a voice for all the other folks who are trying to make it. maybe that's just a really elaborate form of denial?